Is it possible to release all of ourselves and our fears to God? This is a question that has weighed heavily on my mind lately. It seems that every part of me wants to surrender "everything" to Him, but I find myself wanting to take back the control I initially and wholeheartedly wanted to give away. Why is this? Can I truly give away all of my control to Christ? Is is really possible to let Him have every part of me? If so, then why have I not?
There are sometimes those days, who am I kidding, there are always those days when I desperately seek to flood Him with my drudgeries. My daily struggles seem to drown me in my focus...His plan. So how do I overcome this? How do I relieve myself so that I can focus on His plan? I find in His word:
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8
I know that God's plan for me is to prosper in His Glory and share His Grace with the world.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all." Mark 16:15
So, if I believe that God's word is without blemish, and He is faithful in all He says, then where is my faith? Where is my focus?
God, I know that You have planned every moment of my life from the beginning to end. There's nothing inside me that questions that You are sovereign. Give me an unparalleled faith so that I can surrender not just tidbits of my life, but a "total surrender"; a surrender that declares that I trust You with every part of my life, from the smallest detail to the greatest portion. Let me never question Your love me or Your power in taking care of my struggles. I know You are here; I know it is possible to give You all control. I pray You give me the desire to release to You...a TOTAL SURRENDER. Amen.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Incomprehensible...
Something I wanted to share that I posted on noahslegacy.com a year ago...and it's still true today:
Not understanding why something happens has always been a huge confusion for me. Before my husband was my husband, he was also my college math tutor. Such a genius at anything involving numbers…my husband that is, definitely not me. He would tell me the steps to take in a formula to get the answer, and my response was always “WHY?”. He would say, “it doesn’t matter why, that’s just the way you do it.” That was so not good enough for my brain! I needed an explanation. There had to be reason why you would use certain steps to get the answer, but according to Mr. Mathwiz that wasn’t always so in math. Math sometimes just is…and there’s no explanation for it. Relating this to life, or even more specific, to my life, and I see that math and life have something very much in common…sometimes ‘It just is.’ However, the difference in math and life is that with math there’s not a reason…in life there is, you just may not know the reason immediately or ever in this lifetime. This has been such a huge struggle for me lately.
After Noah’s accident in September, I felt I needed a reason why this was happening to us. We did the best we could do. We took very good care of our children. We taught them about Jesus Christ and the sacrifice that gave us eternal life. Really, God? You have chosen to take the little boy that was apart of this type of family…the one who did more for you than any other person I know. I mean, God, Noah shared your love with people that most of us wouldn’t lower ourselves to speak to and there he was rubbing shoulders with these people, hugging them, and telling him “I love you”. I don’t think anger ever stirred inside me…there were times that I felt it could have if I had let it, but I refused to be angry with God. But, to be honest, I definitely spent hours questioning God’s purpose and what He was doing in this situation.
I now know that I may never know God’s reason for this tragedy. This may be something that I have to wait on the answer for…but unlike with math, I am determined to be satisfied with just knowing that God has control of my life, Noah is being taken care of more than I ever could, and most of all, God NEVER allows us to go through this kind of pain without just cause. God is a just God and sometimes….there is not an answer to the ‘why’ questions in this life…but one day I will know it all.
Not understanding why something happens has always been a huge confusion for me. Before my husband was my husband, he was also my college math tutor. Such a genius at anything involving numbers…my husband that is, definitely not me. He would tell me the steps to take in a formula to get the answer, and my response was always “WHY?”. He would say, “it doesn’t matter why, that’s just the way you do it.” That was so not good enough for my brain! I needed an explanation. There had to be reason why you would use certain steps to get the answer, but according to Mr. Mathwiz that wasn’t always so in math. Math sometimes just is…and there’s no explanation for it. Relating this to life, or even more specific, to my life, and I see that math and life have something very much in common…sometimes ‘It just is.’ However, the difference in math and life is that with math there’s not a reason…in life there is, you just may not know the reason immediately or ever in this lifetime. This has been such a huge struggle for me lately.
After Noah’s accident in September, I felt I needed a reason why this was happening to us. We did the best we could do. We took very good care of our children. We taught them about Jesus Christ and the sacrifice that gave us eternal life. Really, God? You have chosen to take the little boy that was apart of this type of family…the one who did more for you than any other person I know. I mean, God, Noah shared your love with people that most of us wouldn’t lower ourselves to speak to and there he was rubbing shoulders with these people, hugging them, and telling him “I love you”. I don’t think anger ever stirred inside me…there were times that I felt it could have if I had let it, but I refused to be angry with God. But, to be honest, I definitely spent hours questioning God’s purpose and what He was doing in this situation.
I now know that I may never know God’s reason for this tragedy. This may be something that I have to wait on the answer for…but unlike with math, I am determined to be satisfied with just knowing that God has control of my life, Noah is being taken care of more than I ever could, and most of all, God NEVER allows us to go through this kind of pain without just cause. God is a just God and sometimes….there is not an answer to the ‘why’ questions in this life…but one day I will know it all.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
Monday, March 11, 2013
Me? Really God?
David, a man whom God loved....after failing God so many times God still wanted to use him...God still loved him. Really? Why God? Why would You, the One who created the Universe, created man, life, still want to even acknowledge someone who turned their back on Your commandments? Someone who deliberately went against everything You stand for...wait, are we still talking about David...or me? Who am I?...the same as David just in different ways. And you say You still love me and want ME to help lead your people to you? You see, God is more than a creator, He is a loving God who wants to keep His promise to us, even when we forsake our promise to Him. I thank you everyday, my Father, for the forgiveness that you bless me with daily, even though I have never deserved it.
Exciting News...
March 10, 2013
Hey everyone!!! It’s been so long since I blogged. However, we have had some problems with the website…so now I can communicate with everyone again…YAY!! I love to talk, especially if I have someone who will listen…and there’s no greater topic that the Love of my Father.
So much has happened over the past few months. We have begun planning our first mission trip to Village of Hope in Guatemala in June. Noah’s Legacy is so excited to be going where God has been leading us to go. We began in November with three people going on the trip, but as soon as others got word of the wonderful things that were taking place at Village of Hope and Noah’s Legacy, we ended that week with 20 people!!! That’s 17 more people who will be spreading God’s love to special needs orphans and caring for those that need to know God loves them. God is good! We know that this is only the beginning for the relationship between Noah’s Legacy and Village of Hope. Can’t wait to go and share everything that God has done for us here.
Each day that goes by I miss Noah even more…it never gets easy. However, each day that goes by God seems to enlighten us a little more regarding His plan for our family. We know His plan is so much more than ours could ever dream of being. I pray that God’s love lathers you all as thick and sweet as honey, and that you allow Him to work in your lives applying His plan and not your own…
MUCH LOVE AND MANY BLESSINGS…..
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