Sitting in the pew at church this morning listening to a wonderful message about how people make New Year’s Resolutions that don’t stick. I began thinking about how every year I try to make one or two (or fifty) that, like everyone else, doesn’t seem to stick. And to be honest, for the last six years, my resolutions have been more prayers and hopes for the next year instead of actual resolutions. It’s more me begging God to allow us to have a better year than the one before...with more peace and comfort and emotional and mental stability. 2017 has been emotionally draining for Brad and myself. It’s almost like the seven year itch came a year early which leaves me anxious and wondering what will the seventh year be like for us if the sixth was this bad!!! Who said “time will ease the pain?” I can tell you it wasn’t someone who had been rocked to the core by losing a child.
So I’m sitting in the pew listening to all the ways to draw closer to God (Colossians 3 by the way) and be a better version of myself. The thought comes to my mind “but this would be so much easier if I didn’t have to focus so much of my mind and energy on what has been taken away from me.” How much easier it would be to just say “I believe I’ll lose ten pounds...read more...spend more time with family...be a better mother, wife, teacher, friend...stop drinking sodas...exercise more...spend less”...you get my point.
PSA: Let me forewarn you; what I’m about to say will sound psychedelic to those of you who haven’t experienced hearing the voice of God so profoundly in your life. It’s not like the voice of Morgan Freeman or Charleston Heston, nor does a light shine from the heavens as this voice appears from no where. Save that for the movies! It’s the most intense, strike-you-in-the-gut, no-one-is-in-the-room-but-you-and Him moment, that unless you’ve witnessed it, you’ll never understand.
As I’m sitting there saying all this to what I think is myself, a voice much sweeter than Freeman or Heston says “What makes you think I have taken anything from you? I have taken nothing from you. In fact, what I have done is given you something? A testimony. Your son is alive and well. You and your family get to spend eternity with him. I have allowed you that gift...and added to that a testimony.”
~God’s drop-the-mic moment~
A couple nights ago, I read Psalms 119, mainly because one verse from that chapter popped up on my ‘verse of the day’. If you’ll read it, you’ll see that the word ‘TESTIMONY’ appears almost two dozen times, which I was thinking to myself (at the time of reading it) how redundant it seemed to keep using that word over and over. But this morning it connected when the preacher even referred to Psalms 119 as he quoted scripture. Coincidence? Yeah, well maybe...but I choose to believe that God used that moment to assure me that HE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING! It’s time for me to stop trying to do His job, especially since I do such a poor job of it, let Him take care of my mental and emotional well-being and start doing my job...being His hands and feet by using my testimony to share His love (Noah’s Legacy) with a broken world who just wants to be LOVED!
So for my 2018 NY Resolution....Simple: Just let God...........................………………
PSA #2: Every moment is God’s drop-the-mic moment!!!!! Be still and know..........
Much love and many blessings,
Leann
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